Writing a eulogy

This is a profound responsibility that offers a unique opportunity to honour and celebrate the life of a loved one. It can be a daunting task, especially during a time of grief. This guide will help you navigate the process, drawing from essential tips and themes to create a heartfelt and memorable tribute.

Understanding the Purpose of a Eulogy

A eulogy serves multiple purposes:

• Celebration of Life: It highlights the achievements, passions, and personality of the deceased, painting a picture of their life.
• Comfort for the Bereaved: Sharing fond memories and positive reflections can provide solace and bring a sense of closure to those grieving.
• Sharing Stories and Memories: It’s an opportunity to recount specific anecdotes that showcase the character and spirit of the person.

Gathering Stories and Memories

Start by collecting stories and memories from family members and friends. These personal anecdotes are the heart of the eulogy and provide a deeper insight into the deceased’s life and character. Ask questions like:

• What is your favourite memory with them?
• How did they impact your life?
• What traits or habits made them unique?

This process not only enriches your content but also helps involve others in the memorial process, making the eulogy a collective tribute.

Structuring the Eulogy

A well-structured eulogy typically includes:

• Introduction: Begin by introducing yourself and your relationship with the deceased. This sets the context and establishes a personal connection with the audience.
• Body: This is the core of the eulogy. Include stories, achievements, and personal traits. You can organise this chronologically, thematically, or by significant life events.
• Close: Conclude with a final thought or message, often expressing how the deceased will be remembered and the impact they had on those around them. You might also include a meaningful quote or poem.

Balancing Emotion and Tone

While it’s natural to feel emotional, especially when delivering a eulogy, aim for a balance. Share a mix of emotions—humorous anecdotes, poignant memories, and moments of pride. This range of feelings helps to capture the full essence of the person’s life.

Practicing the Delivery

Practicing your eulogy several times can help you become more comfortable with the material. It’s normal to feel nervous, but familiarity with your speech will help manage emotions and ensure a smooth delivery. Consider:

– Practicing in front of a mirror or a small group of friends.

– Timing your speech to keep it concise, ideally between 5-10 minutes.

– Preparing for emotional moments by taking deep breaths and pausing if needed.

Personalising the Eulogy

Make the eulogy as personal as possible. Use the person’s name frequently and incorporate their favourite sayings, hobbies, or quirks. This personalisation makes the tribute more relatable and heartfelt.

Incorporating Others

If comfortable, invite others to contribute or speak. This can include reading a poem, sharing a brief story, or providing support during the eulogy. It adds diversity to the tribute and allows multiple perspectives to be shared.

Handling Emotions and Unexpected Moments

It’s okay to show emotion. It reflects the depth of your feelings and can resonate with the audience. If you find yourself overwhelmed, pause, take a deep breath, and continue. Remember, the audience is supportive and understands the difficulty of the task.

Well-known Eulogies

Here are some memorable quotes from well-known eulogies, reflecting the depth and emotion often expressed in these heartfelt speeches. But remember, every eulogy captures the personality and human side of a loved one, and all are equally as valuable and special.

Eulogy for Princess Diana by Earl Spencer

Earl Spencer delivered a moving eulogy at his sister Princess Diana’s funeral, highlighting her warmth, compassion, and the challenges she faced. He said:

 “Diana was the very essence of compassion, of duty, of style, of beauty. All over the world, she was a symbol of selfless humanity, yet a standard bearer for the rights of the truly downtrodden, a very British girl who transcended nationality… It is a point to remember that of all the ironies about Diana, perhaps the greatest was this: that a girl given the name of the ancient goddess of hunting was, in the end, the most hunted person of the modern age.”

This poignant remark underscores the paradox of Diana’s life, where her humanitarian efforts and popularity were coupled with intense media scrutiny.

Eulogy for Steve Jobs by his Sister Mona Simpson

Mona Simpson’s eulogy for her brother Steve Jobs provided a touching insight into his personality and values. She said:

 “What I learned from my brother’s death was that character is essential: what he was, was what he did… He believed that love happened all the time, everywhere. He felt that while they weren’t looking, their house became an enchanted one; while their back was turned, the lily pond turned into a fountain of champagne.”

Simpson’s words reflect Jobs’ belief in the magic of life and the importance of love and character, mirroring the creative and inspirational force he was in his professional life.

Eulogy for Nelson Mandela by President Barack Obama

At Nelson Mandela’s memorial service, President Barack Obama delivered a powerful speech, highlighting Mandela’s enduring legacy and moral leadership:

“It took a man like Madiba to free not just the prisoner, but the jailer as well; to show that you must trust others so that they may trust you; to teach that reconciliation is not a matter of ignoring a cruel past, but a means of confronting it with inclusion, generosity, and truth. He changed laws, but he also changed hearts.”

Obama’s eulogy captured the transformative power of Mandela’s leadership in healing a divided nation and promoting peace and justice globally.

Eulogy for Martin Luther King Jr. by Robert F. Kennedy

Robert F. Kennedy delivered a spontaneous and heartfelt eulogy for Martin Luther King Jr. after his assassination, emphasising the need for love and understanding over division and hatred:

 “What we need in the United States is not division; what we need in the United States is not hatred; what we need in the United States is not violence or lawlessness; but is love, and wisdom, and compassion toward one another, and a feeling of justice toward those who still suffer within our country, whether they be white or they be black.”

Kennedy’s words resonated deeply, calling for unity and compassion in a time of national grief and tension.

Eulogy for John F. Kennedy by Ted Sorensen

Ted Sorensen, speechwriter and adviser to President John F. Kennedy, delivered a reflective eulogy, focusing on JFK’s vision and legacy:

 “He gave us strength in time of peril, wisdom in time of uncertainty, and inspiration in time of doubt… He spoke of service, not self; of liberty, not tyranny; of peace, not war. He preached love and not hatred, the sharing of work and not the dividing of the spoils.”

Sorensen’s words highlighted Kennedy’s enduring influence as a leader committed to peace, progress, and public service.

These excerpts from famous eulogies capture the essence of the individuals they honour, offering profound insights into their lives and the lasting impact they had on the world.

Conclusion

Writing and delivering a eulogy is a way to honour a loved one’s legacy. It’s a deeply personal act that helps to celebrate their life and offer comfort to those grieving. By focusing on authentic stories, balancing emotions, and practicing your delivery, you can create a meaningful tribute that resonates with all who hear it.