Talking about death isn’t something Brits usually do over dinner, but it’s one of a handful of experiences we all have in common, along with the feeling of pain from the grief of losing loved ones. Losing someone you love is one of life’s hardest experiences, and dealing with all the logistics that follow can feel overwhelming—especially when it’s not something we often discuss openly.

When life ends, where do you begin?

When you lose a loved one, it’s totally normal to feel a bit lost about what to do first. That’s where your funeral director comes in. They’re there to help you with all the practical arrangements, like transferring your loved one from the place of death—whether that’s a hospital, care home, or hospice— into their care.

This collection process is typically triggered by a call to a 24 hour telephone line, either using the details provided by the funeral plan provider, in the case of a deceased plan holder, or by calling a funeral director directly to make arrangements.

Once your loved one arrives at the funeral home, the funeral director and their team will start preparing them for the service. They treat your loved one with care, which may involve bathing, dressing, and grooming. Some families opt for embalming, a process that temporarily preserves the body, allowing for an open-casket viewing if that’s something you’d like, though this is not commonplace in the UK thanks to improvements in refrigeration techniques. Your funeral director will walk you through all these options to make sure everything aligns with your wishes and respects any cultural or religious customs that matter to you. If the deceased took out a funeral plan,

Having this kind of support can really help ease the burden during such a tough time. Your funeral director isn’t just there to manage the details—they’re there to be your guide and partner in honouring the memory of your loved one with dignity and compassion. They’ll help take care of everything so you can focus on what’s most important, like being present for your family and friends.

Handling the necessary paperwork

Handling paperwork may be the last thing you want to think about, but it’s essential. Your funeral director will help with the necessary documents, such as filing the death certificate and obtaining any required permits. If you’ve got a funeral plan, the plan provider will also liaise with you to make sure certain information is passed on to the funeral director being used for the service.

It’s important during this time to be honest if you are overwhelmed by your grief. If you can feel yourself burying your head in the sand, there’s always help available – don’t be afraid to speak to your funeral directors who will be able to help you navigate this challenging time. Remember, they’re professionals who deal with passing every day, and will be able to use their experience to support you in the appropriate way.

Planning the funeral or memorial service

A big part of what a funeral director does is help you create a meaningful service for your loved one. They’ll take the time to listen to your family’s wishes and walk you through decisions, like choosing a casket or urn, picking out flowers, selecting music, and helping with personal touches that make the service feel special.

Whether you’re planning a traditional funeral, a memorial service, or a celebration of life, the funeral director is there to make sure every detail reflects what’s most important to you and your loved one. If you’re not sure what your loved one would have wanted, they can share ideas and guide you in ways that will bring you comfort.

A growing proportion of people are now pre-planning their funeral, making this part of the process even less stressful and complicated. This means that the funeral director will be appointed by the plan provider, and exact details of the plan will be passed across to be arranged.

Saying goodbye

If your family wants to hold a viewing, wake, or visitation, the funeral director will take care of arranging and hosting these gatherings. They’ll make sure everything feels welcoming and comforting, handling the timing and setup so that everyone can say goodbye in a way that feels right for them.

If you’d rather have a closed-casket viewing or skip a viewing altogether, they’ll also fully respect your choice and make sure everything is handled just as you and your family like.

For those who have large families or lots close friends, it may not be possible for everyone to say goodbye in person, especially if the service has been arranged for a weekday. In this scenario, a funeral director can often liaise with crematoriums and other organisations involved in the process to arrange virtual attendance through webcasts, or recordings after the service concludes.

Arranging transportation and burial or cremation

After the service, the funeral director will take care of getting your loved one to the burial site, cemetery, or crematorium, making sure it’s done with respect and on time. For most cremations, the journey ends at the crematorium, and the funeral director will instead prepare for the return or scattering of ashes. For a burial, the funeral director will transport your loved one to the burial location and prepare for a graveside committal, if needed. This is also an opportunity for loved ones to see the final resting place, and take in the surroundings during a period of reflection.

Helping you say goodbye

These days, funerals can be as unique and special as the people they’re honouring. Some families like to play videos or set up a photo slideshow, while others might bring in items that reflect their loved one’s favourite hobbies, like a fishing pole, a beloved guitar, or even a collection of travel photos. If you have a specific idea, even if it’s a little unconventional, don’t hesitate to share it.

Funeral directors have seen all kinds of personal touches and are more than happy to help make it happen. They understand that sometimes it’s the little things—a favorite song, a signature recipe, a shirt from their favourite sports team—that make the service feel true to your loved one and bring comfort to everyone gathered. So, if there’s something unique you’d like to include, know that your funeral director is there to help bring those ideas to life.

Death isn’t the end, it’s just the beginning

A good funeral director’s support doesn’t stop when the service is over. Many funeral homes go the extra mile by offering grief counselling, support groups, or other resources to help you and your family as you start the healing process. We have shared some articles previously about some free bereavement support services.

Some funeral directors even have aftercare services, like checking in with you now and then or hosting remembrance events, which can be a real comfort in the months after your loss. They understand that grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and they’re there to help you find the support you need, whenever you need it.

Most importantly, your funeral director is there for any questions or concerns you may have throughout the entire process. They understand the legalities, costs, and customs associated with funeral planning and are there to help ease your burden. No ask is ever to big, and if anything is unclear always seek professional guidance.

No ask is too big

Having a caring, experienced funeral director by your side can truly make all the difference during such a challenging time. Losing a loved one is one of the hardest things we face, and the idea of planning a service on top of everything else can feel overwhelming. However, that’s exactly where a good funeral director steps in. They’re there as your guide, your advocate, and your partner in memoralising your loved one’s life with the dignity, respect, and compassion they deserve.

From the first phone call to the final arrangements, they’ll be right there to take the weight off your shoulders, handling the details, big and small, so you can focus on being with family and friends. Whether it’s making sure the service reflects your loved one’s personality or answering any question you have along the way, they’re there for you.

Above all, remember that you don’t have to navigate this alone. Your funeral director will walk with you through every step, helping make a difficult experience not only manageable but, in its own way, comforting and healing.

Funerals with Grace offer a range of funeral services, including immediate funeral arrangements and funeral plans.