However, when dealing with the death of a loved one, the most important thing is to arrange the farewell that feels right to you, and that you either think or know that they would have wanted. And sometimes the right choice is an attended funeral. Whether your decision is based on tradition, cultural or religious beliefs, or a need for support from family and friends in the aftermath of the death, an attended funeral can seem like the natural option.

In this article we look at different types of attended funerals, and the benefits that attended funerals can bring. We also explain how to go about arranging an attended funeral when someone dies.

Different types of attended funerals

The most common type of attended funeral in the UK is a cremation. Around 79% of all deaths in the UK are followed by cremation. 

The funeral service can be held either at a crematorium chapel, or at a church or other venue. If the service is at a crematorium it can be either a religious or non-religious service, depending on your preferences. You can choose to have a minister of religion or a professional celebrant to conduct the funeral service. The only constraint is that the service needs to be carried out within the time slot that has been booked for you at the crematorium.

The cremation itself does not take place at the service. Instead, during the service the body will be “committed”. Final words are spoken before the service ends and, at this point, many people choose to have curtains closed to remove the coffin from view. After the mourners have left the crematorium chapel, the coffin is moved to a different part of the crematorium for the cremation to take place.

If you would prefer your loved one to be buried rather than cremated, you will need to buy a burial plot in either a churchyard, cemetery or natural burial ground. A funeral service can then be arranged at the venue, with some or all mourners also witnessing the coffin being buried in the grounds after the funeral.

The benefits of an attended funeral

An attended funeral can be a difficult and emotional event, but there are also some potential benefits to having an attended funeral:

• A sense of closure

Organising an attended funeral within a short period of time after your loved one has died can make the death more real, and bring with it a sense of closure. For many people, seeing the coffin and witnessing the committal, perhaps with the symbolic act of curtains closing, is a helpful way to say goodbye and begin the grieving process. 

• A sharing of grief

An attended funeral soon after the death can also provide an outlet for the sharing of grief about the death. It enables family, friends, and the wider community to gather together in person to pay their respects, share memories, and support one another. It can also be a significant milestone in the grieving process.

• Preserving and making memories

Attended funerals can be an uplifting opportunity to share happy memories of the departed person, and bring a smile to everyone’s face amongst the grief. It is a powerful reminder of the lasting legacy of the person who has died : a reassurance that they were loved and will never be forgotten. Even the funeral service itself will become something to be remembered in years to come, and for many mourners there will be a sense of gratitude that they were there to share the experience.

• Gaining comfort from tradition

Many families have either cultural or religious traditions that guide their funeral choices. And these traditions can be of great comfort during a time of loss. Whether the attended funeral service is a religious one, with particular prayers or rituals, or perhaps full of other family traditions and customs, it can bring a strong sense of connection to past generations, and also to a higher power if this is your belief.

• A feeling of reassurance

As well as the content of the funeral service itself, many people gain a feeling of reassurance from the professional aspect of an attended funeral. The formal setting of a crematorium, with its dedicated space and professional staff, can provide a sense of order and normality in amongst the upheaval and anguish of death. It can be reassuring to know that you and your departed loved one are in safe hands, and that to all the staff involved in the logistics of the funeral, death is very much a day to day part of life.

How to arrange an attended funeral

When someone dies, everything can seem very overwhelming, including the thought of organising a funeral. At this stage, it can be very helpful to find a funeral planner who has all the experience and information you need to organise the best funeral for your loved one. They can help you to plan every aspect of the funeral, and ensure that everything runs as smoothly as possible.

There are many funeral planners to choose from, both on the High Street and online. Bear in mind that if you choose a High Street funeral planner, this is likely to be a more expensive option, as they will have substantial overhead costs to cover, including their physical premises, vehicles, and staff. However, an online funeral service provider will have lower overheads and can usually offer more competitive pricing because of this.

Funerals with Grace offer a personalised funeral planning service which could help you to make the best funeral arrangements for your loved one at an affordable price. So do contact us if you need help making arrangements and we will do our very best to help you and your family at this difficult time.